A
New Beginning With The People At Work
by: Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
There's
a big opportunity here! The holidays bring a change in spirit in most
folks. Even though they may be more tired than usual from all the
demands of the season, they are filled with holiday cheer. Key time
to heal relationships at work!
Do
something nice for those you work with. Sounds simple, enough, but
you may have some resistance to the idea. Perhaps it seems like a
phony or superficial thing to do. On one level, maybe, on another
more important level, it is simply wise. They are going to be there
after the holidays, too!
Use
this time for new beginnings. Demonstrate your willingness to improve
your working relationship. Go first. Give first. This is a time-honored
tradition that really works. Step out of your 'He/she done me wrong'
mode. Un-Grinch and give.
The
simple act of surprising someone with chocolate, flowers or a gift
certificate for a cappuccino can make a huge difference. Think about
it. How would you feel if you were on the receiving end unexpectedly?
Sure,
there are a few folks who would grumble, "What's this about? You expect
me to forget the past year?" or who are suspicious of your motives.
Truth is, most folks want the problems to go away, too. When you give
first, you are saying that you think there is hope. Maybe we could
do something about this.
If
this is too Pollyanna sounding for you, consider the alternatives.
If you don't do it, the holidays will be over and nothing will have
changed. At least, by taking a step to improve the relationship, you'll
know you've held out the olive branch and said, "I'm human over here."
Remember
what Malachy McCourt said: 'Resentment is like taking poison and waiting
for the other person to die." Why would you want to do that? It is
only you that suffers.
If
you are having trouble with someone at work, think of them as the
driver who purposefully cuts you off on the highway. You can be yelling
and cursing them in your car, but they are hearing nothing! You are
the only one who is agitated, red-faced and screaming. Why do that
to yourself?
How
is resentment working for you? Decide how you want to feel, what state
you want to live in, what thoughts you want to dwell on. Act accordingly.
Sure, it's not going to make the other person stop gossiping, doing
sloppy work or failing to meet deadlines, but, it will make you feel
better. You do create your internal environment.
Take
this opportunity to change your workplace relationships. Works at
home, too. A pleasant surprise can make a big difference at any time
of year! Welcome folks back with a treat.